COUPLES THERAPY

I help couples find ways to feel connected and attuned with each other, without engaging in "finding the bad guy" in the relationship.

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So many of my clients who come to me for couples therapy express their biggest fear - "I am worried that I will find out that I am not made for relationships and that my partner is better off with someone else." It is scarily common than most of us might imagine. So many of us are worried that we make terrible partners and that couples therapy will call us out on it.

When they first come in, they tell me how they've tried out so many things and somehow nothing seems to be working. They've even been in individual therapy and learnt how to regulate their own feelings and yet, something seems to be going awfully wrong in their couplehood.

"I am a good friend and a decent daughter/son and a reasonable colleague, but somehow I feel like I am failing in my relationship. I don't know if it is a me problem or if my partner is in the wrong, but I know that I feel so disconnected from them" 

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Feeling this way affects so many aspects of our lives, from our self esteem to our confidence and we sometimes wonder what it would be like if we just called it quits. 

My experience working with couples, and being in a long term partnership myself has taught me one thing time and time again - we grow in relationships. The horrible things we feel in the context of romantic relationships are often just a mirror for us to look inwards and learn how to navigate and diffuse triggers with the help of our own abilities and our partner's positive regard.

Couples therapy opens the door to help you find ways in which you learn how to fight with your partner and find ways to stay connected with them, while recognising the moments of disconnection between you both as just a means to helping you work towards a common goal.

A relationship in which you grow together, learn how to weather moments of disconnection, and find your way back to each other is not out of reach.